anxiety remedy

Fear of Failure, Joyfear & The Dog

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown own your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”—One can derive the life lessons that can only come from trying, failing, learning, and trying again. This is the epitome of having no fear of failure. ~Steve Jobs

The Fear of Failure

Unless you are living under a rock and have been for a long time you know about Apple products and the raging success they have made on our digital market, from music to computing. We have Steve Jobs to thank for that. Well, him and a bunch of people that worked with him. But he was one to stand up and talk about failure and how he chose to use it as a catalyst to success.

Fear is the base for the probability of failure in our minds’. It is the biggest thief of our dreams, our passions and becoming our best selves. It is even the base of disappointment in our besties including dogs.

Fear is a safe place to hide out. It is the reason we don’t get what we want out of life and only talk about what we are going to do some day soon. Fear makes sure that everything stays the same. Fear sucks.

Is Fear Defining Who You Are?  How you React to the Situation of Life Everyday?

Do you listen to the drone of others telling you… “not a good idea”, “you shouldn’t do that”, “you can’t do what you want to do it’s just not the way it is”, “life is difficult”.

Is it that it’s said enough, “you should be afraid”, that we believe it?

And then we repeatedly say it to ourselves. Unconsciously. I am afraid to do something new. I am afraid to be who I am.

Something changes when adulthood shows up. When we were kids we believed we have the powers of SuperMan or Ms. Marvel.  For real.

We had plans to be an astronaut, a scientist, an artist, make the whole world a better place, the best teacher ever, a fireman. What is it that changes so drastically? What makes us afraid to be who we are, make our dreams reality, find our true passions?

What Fear Does

It steals who we are, what we do and how we act.

It changes the face of our own dogs, who by nature are very in the moment. In fact if you have a dog that suffers from fear aggression or separation anxiety it’s time to take a look at what is going on in your own life. Yes, of course seeking a professional dog trainer’s help this case is high recommended, but….

Consider the fear is projected from your words, your actions, all that you comes with you upon entering a room.

Joyfear*

original word creator: Leo Babauta at ZenHabits

Recognize fear in the moment and start rewriting your story right then. Write it down. What are the reasons you have fear around it? You’ll start seeing a pattern or big fat ugly excuses.

Begin the transformation to joy.  Take your fear and create joy.  Joyfear.  Really, like love and hate, it’s a fine line.

When it comes to the dog… well they can’t write their own fears down but if you should be dealing with this issue, look at all that is around when the fear happens and then come up with three things you could do to change the picture for your dog. *Note, an easier project when understanding how dogs think and learn.

You have the control panel to change the fear in your life. It’s starts with recognizing that it exists and every time it jumps up and rears it’s ugly face, think differently.

“What if I let myself enjoy this moment? How can I appreciate myself and take action in a new way today? What is good around me, and how can I contribute to it?”

“What steps can I take to feel calm? To write the book I’ve dreamed of? To move from the city to a quieter more serene life? To move to New York city? To become a (fill in the blank)?

Take This Fear and Shove It

My friend and colleague Tess Marshall has written and teaches a course called “Take This Fear and Shove It”. If any of this resonated with you check it out. It could just be the start of your dreams come true.

If you do have a dog with fear issues, it is worth having a clearer understanding of your own fear. The picture will be much brighter when it comes to communicating calm to your dog and ultimately when it comes to your own daily habits.

Jt Clough lives In Kailua Kona on the Big Island, Hawaii, and practices health, happiness and natural remedies, while working as a habits coach for people looking to live healthier and happier lives.  She is a dog whisperer for our best friends; and studies natural dog remedies, nutrition and communication.

The Nasty Grip of Anxiety

Anxiety. If that word resonates with you I don’t even have to go into all the feelings that it brings on.

Unnecessary feelings, but never the less they are alive and real for many. Most the time dog owners rub it right off on to our own dogs as well.  After all, our own dogs do in fact reflect our behavior.

If the word anxiety doesn’t resonate with you. Good for you! Stoked for you.

Those who do feel anxiety on a regular basis this is the year to get rid of it once and for all.  It is like worry, which is a total waste of time.

As a dog trainer it is obvious when an owner comes to me and says their dog has separation anxiety or fear aggression. However, it is usually not apparent to the owner.  It is a realization to the owner that it can actually be about them.

You do emulate the 5 things you hang out with most.

You see, we spend much of our time covering it up, not addressing that it’s a real issue. We stay the same. In fear. In anxiety.  That ugly nasty grip stops us from doing so many things we hold as dreams and aspirations.

When it comes to coaching people without dogs, sometimes it is actually harder to read. Again, dogs have no filter and tell all. So without the mirror of a dog’s behavior it becomes even easier to hide behind.

The Way To Anti Anxiety

Wouldn’t it be great if I could just lay it out here and have it resolved once and for all?

Anxiety is a complex problem but the truth of the matter is we must address it to do anything about it. We must first admit that it affects our lives. And for those who can already admit it, we need to move on to doing something about it.

Or…. guaranteed it will get worse over time. What you think about you become.

So here is a quick and fast answer to get your started to no more anxiety in 2012:

GO INTO ACTION.  It’s a natural anti anxiety remedy that works.

Let me give you an example.

This morning I was outrigger paddling in the Ocean with 9 other people on our crew. We had paddled out for about a half hour, came around a point off of the pier here in the magical, healing, yet very powerful waters that surround the Big Island and… WAHOO… big swell.

What that means for those who don’t paddle is the little tiny canoe in comparison to the great big Ocean starts rocking and rolling and becomes in great danger of going over.  It means the front end of the boat was completely covered with water and our job was to keep paddling to come out the other side and get back on top of the water.

I found myself beginning to freak. I had already started all the “what if’s” in my mind. I already had me and all of my crew flailing around in the water, trying to find our paddles, trying to grab an overturned canoe to flip it back over, trying to not get bashed by big waves or the boat while bailing the water out before we could get back in.

My comment out loud was, “Oh shit, I’m sorta scared.” One of my paddle crew sitting at the front along aside me who is strong just like I am when it comes to paddling, said in the midst of it all just after I made the comment, “Don’t think about it. Just paddle.”

Guess what? It worked! I just paddled. Smoothly, with rhythm.  I became calm in the powerful  water and used it to my advantage to keep moving forward.

The realization later is once again the lesson came about how to deal with anxiety, how to get rid of anxiety.

Do something. Go into action. Don’t waste the time spinning out about all the “what if’s” Move. Take action.

In my experience, it works for people and it works for dogs. It is a habit one has to practice though if you happen to be afflicted by the nasty grip of anxiety.

The Anxiety Busting Virtual Tour

Yes, a blatant promotion coming your way. And know I don’t promote anything I don’t truly believe in.

Anxiety is one of those things people tend to put on “wait”. Wait and see if it goes away. Wait to see if things suddenly change. Wait to see if the New Year will make it better. Wait to see if the love of my life comes along and makes it better. Wait to see if when I lose weight I will feel better. Wait to see if the anxiety gets better.

Wrong answer. Wait.

The only way to get rid of anxiety, to change it from entering your life and literally stealing your plans to live happily away is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

The Anxiety Busting Virtual Tour starts Jan 23. Get on it. Check it out. And have yourself the best 2012 ever.

*Note to dog owners who are looking for help with what seems to be a dog anxiety problem:  This is for you!  If you understand anxiety you can help your dog.  If you don’t understand anxiety, considering the lack of communication methods we have with our dogs, it will be a difficult fix!

Thanks for reading.  My hope is to give you inspiration and thought provoking ideas to take your very next step in creating your own paradise from where you are now!  Please subscribe to Big Island Dog and follow me on Twitter.   Retweets are cool too.

As a 9 time Ironman finisher, change maker, author and creator of  5K Training Guide | Running with Dogs and K9 Cross Fitness Classes in Kailua Kona Hawaii I encourage you to make that change you want so badly today!